A Posteriori

The Inductive Reasoning of an MHA

This is an original receipt - this is a copy - this is a cancelled check - this is a copy of a cancelled check - oh my oh my - what to do - which one should I submit?

The rules are not clear - I don't know which is best - the system does not tell me how to do it.

Hmmm - oh wait now - I will have my own internal system - NOTE TO SELF - My office will only submit original receipts and if no receipt is available (like if I just give somebody some wood) I will keep a little book that posts those charitable contributions. But wait - can't do that until Justice Greene tells me it's OK. Need some direction...

Last time I submitted copies - the Police were called in - can't do that again. NOTE TO SELF - it is really important that I appear to be treating taxpayer dollars with respect - as if it were my own - but wait I'm a taxpayer - it is my own - and I always look really good when I give donations to the organizations (voters) in my district. Why did everyone have to know that we are paid back for them?

I am exonerated - I am - I am cleared of all wrong-doing - that means I did nothing wrong. The system made me do it. It was not me - I can not be guilty of wrong-doing if I did not know what I was doing. I was administratively insane - the system was designed to trap me. That's it entrapment.

There was only 19 or so mistakes - sure the Chief Electoral Office made that many in one night - and today they made another 9 - and they have a system. I could see people getting upset if I had double-billed say for every expense I had.

I mean I ate at the restaurant - I used my debit card - I have that receipt - and then there's the blank - no I mean the official one from my server. I paid the tip in cash - but if I used my credit card they are both on the same receipt. So many systems - so little methodology to deal with it. NOTE TO SELF - call Memorial University Distance Education enroll in accounting course (bill that to my constituency allowance) then there's the travel involved in distance education - wait unless we get that extra fibre-optic link - then I can do it online (right?)

Where did I put that laptop? I must find it - it is reaaaaly expensive - where did it go? At the restaurant - on the plane? Did I leave it at CBC? It has all my expenses on it. No wait - I know it's at that computer fixer-upper place you know where they erase the hard drive so I can file new reports this year. That's what happened at the House - if it's good at home it's fine for work.

I heard that was a good method to reduce and reuse - wait that's environmentally friendly - NOTE TO SELF - tell Minister of Environment my great idea - reduce data - recycle data - reuse data - that all saves space and I can still empty my trash.

Oh no - there are those people again - on open-line - trashing me - did you hear that? They called me incompetent - come on now - that's mean - unnecessary - I did not mean to do that. I just was not given any rules - who knew that submitting a receipt and a copy of a receipt would cause so much hassle - those people downstairs should have caught that - I can't catch everything - I am busy - I have a road to build - doors to knock on - people to see - interviews to do - lawyers to visit - oh that legal bill - that's right - who's paying for that? Me? No the system told me they would pay it - good expensive and I deserve to be protected from my own actions - no wait - not looking good - I will pay it - yeah I'll pay it - how do I claim that? Oh no more invoices - receipts - oh not again.

Back to expenses - why did this person stick this form in front of me for my signature - I am busy - sign - no don't sign - I can't figure it out - I spent this out of my account and ended up with twice as much back - NOTE TO SELF check how the bank does it - go to ATM deposit check - deposit copy of check - deposit reasonable facsimile of check - wait to see how many credits I get. Damn - the machine ate my card - it won't give it back - give it back - now - NOTE TO SELF - next time submit only to the House of Assembly - they don't take my card away if I make mistakes.

Then there's that pesky AG you know the Annoying Gopher that keeps digging all those nasty holes on the golf-course - wait a pain that one is - just as you get one hole filled in another one appears. What to do - What to do - they got rid of him once before - but the boss complained that he was to be protected (an endangered species) - NOTE TO SELF - time to talk to the Minister of the Environment again.

Now on with the day - what are all these post-its? My there's hundreds of them - all over the desk - gotta get control of these - all these names - who are they?

Minny - don't' sue
Liz - don't sue
Sue - sue
Ed - sue
Tony - don't sue
Simon - decision pending
Randy - decision pending
Bill - just about there

Note to Self - all posties go to Premier's Office for appropriate filing.